Meat glue is an easy sell. It's fun, cheap, lasts over a year in your freezer, helps you to both be more economical in the kitchen and do super fun things like gluing chicken skin to steak or turning shrimp into noodles. Learn more here and hereBuy it.

Next up, the circulator. I get that immersion circulator sounds weird and sciency and really intimidating. So let's not call it that, ok. Let's call it a food hot tub. You should get a food hot tub because it will allow you more control over food than you've ever had before. Never again will you eat a chalky, dried chicken breast or tough pork chop. Better yet, cooking dinner in a food hot tub is infinitely easier than searing and baking it. It's entirely hands off, won't heat up your kitchen in the summer, and makes your food taste better. Food hot tubs are easier and way, way, way more useful than slow cookers. They also cost less than a decent microwave and a tad more than those stupid pod coffee things that piss out garbage and will end in yours soon enough. Buy a food hot tub already.